Facing Setbacks

                                                                Even Jesus Said No...

    If you looked up the word people pleaser in the dictionary or even did a Google search for this term, I am pretty sure that you would see my picture. As a Christian single woman saying no can be hard. I have felt like if I say no that I might miss out on the perfect God ordained opportunity. That I will be sinning or won't receive a blessing. Saying no feels like I am breaking one of The 10 Commandments.  I have often felt guilted into always saying yes. Recently a family member asked me to help them with a task once a week. I told the family member that I can help some weeks, but not every week due to other commitments. Of course, the family member got upset, but they have access to other family members and resources that can help. A part of me feels bad for saying no in a way, but an even bigger part of me is proud of myself for saying no for once in my life. In my 20's I had more free time, and I said yes to everything and everyone and I felt burned out often. Now I have multiple jobs, am a single parent to a child that has special needs, am in graduate school, and more and I am learning that I can't do it all. 

     I am a researcher by nature, and I wanted to see if Jesus ever said no. Jesus said no when he was tested by Satan. He said no to the disciples and to people that demanded that he perform miracles to prove himself. I want to have that boldness. Jesus knew that He had a mission and only so much time. He knew that saying yes all of the time could get in the way of God's plan, and purpose for His life and the lives of others. Just like Jesus we are not obligated to always say yes. At times saying yes can even bring more harm than good. Over the years me saying no to friends and family has helped them to find other sources and people to receive help. My simple no led them to depend on new and different people which has led to developing lifelong friendships. It has even helped someone to start a care ministry at their church which has been a blessing to many other church members as they needed help getting to medical appointments or to even get a phone call to just check on them. Overall, I am learning that always saying yes is not only exhausting, but it can also get in the way of God's greater plan for others. Don't feel bad for saying no. Let God show you the things and people that you should say yes and no to day by day.